“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
Have you ever had something unfold for you that was tragic and such a hard time, yet you felt so enveloped in God’s peace and His direction that you knew He was right there with you? Even though you knew you should be afraid, you should be panicking, you should feel like you were falling apart but you couldn’t.
I had a situation like that. Several years ago, my precious mother in law had fallen and broken her hip. Her life changed forever in that moment as up to that point she had lived alone and cared for all of her needs, and her home and even ran a business of rental houses. She was 85 by the way. After the fall she had surgery and went through rehab and they had released her to return to her home to live. She was on a walker but she desired her same independent lifestyle she had had in the past. What we didn’t know was that it was more difficult for her to get her food and drink, that she basically just skipped it much of the time and within a couple of weeks she was becoming weak. Her friend called me as she lives in another state and told me I needed to come. My husband had just been there a few days earlier to check on her, other people and family were checking on her and up to this point she seemed fine. But she was becoming weak and dehydrated and until it got to a certain point we didn’t realize how weak she was becoming. My husband was going out of town on business so I was the one who needed to go.
All the way to her home, I prayed for the Lord’s guidance and that the Lord would direct my path when I got there. And I am also not exaggerating when I tell you that is exactly what He did. You see, I am not a nurse and never felt called to be one. I was able to handle my children when they were sick or injured but I have never been one you would want to call on in a medical crisis. It is simply not my gift. This situation may not have scared someone else, but I was petrified. Yet I really did not feel the fear, if that makes any sense. When I got to her home it was becoming apparent she could not live alone anymore as caring for her personal needs was too overwhelming for her. Now for me, when there were decisions that had to be made with my parents, I have 3 sisters and we were able to make any decisions together. My husband was not able to be there and my husband’s sister is dealing with health issues that are serious and overwhelming to her and her husband. I am not exaggerating when I tell you I was very afraid. I was about to have to help make decisions for someone’s life that I quite frankly had no idea where to start.
I won’t go into the entire story in the essence of time, but I can honestly say that God orchestrated the whole thing. Over the course of the next few days I truly felt the Lord leading and taking me by the hand and leading me to each next step. There were things that happened in those days that were hard. There were things that were scary for her and for me. But the way it unfolded could only have been God leading the way for her future well being.
Something I learned through this, and unfortunately I tend to have relearned through other crises in life, is that when I get to the end of myself and I have no clue where to go next, when I lean into the Father and let Him take the reins I can usually look back and see where he was guiding. On rare occasions, like this one, I am aware enough to feel His presence during the crises. I wish I could tell you I did this always. But I have to remind myself of times like this when He guided the course of events so as not to panic about what I may be facing when fear starts taking over. He has walked with me before and if I let Him He will guide and uphold me with His righteous right hand again.
Thank you Lord that You are with us. That we really do not have to be dismayed, we just have to lean into You and let you show us our next step. One step at a time. Please help us to feel your hands holding us up.